May 2020



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May. 30th, 2020

My first SCHITT Fic

I wrote my first Schitt's Creek fic. Posted on AO3 naturally. Feels weird not to be posting here.

I still love this place.

All the fandom activity seems to be on Facebook or Tumblr these days. And I hate facebook. And I don't know how Tumblr works.

Le sigh.

Also. I don't have any schitt creek icons, and I'm pretty sure I don't remember how to make them happen. Ha!

Here is the link: The Rona

May. 20th, 2020

The 100 and Schitt's Creek and My Birthday

Today is my birthday. It was lovely.

Wife went out and got us breakfast, we both had taken the day off. Then we spent most of the day watching two very different shows with one very important thing in common.

Schitt's Creek and The 100.

What do they have in common? Multiple characters, including leads, who are part of the LGBTQ+ community AND universes where Homophobia doesn't exist. All love is on equal footing and no difference to be found between straight and same sex relationships.

Unfortunately on The 100 this means that the LGBTQ+ characters aren't immune to horrible dark fates. But in SC it means the opposite, the LGBTQ+ characters aren't immune to beautiful loving futures.

SC has already finished its run. The 100 started the beginning of its end tonight.

This means 2020 will bring me COVID and the end of two of my favorite all time shows. FUCK 2020!

I hope this is a new beginning though. I hope more shows will look like this in the future. :)

May. 5th, 2020

Not a happy post but I need to scream into the void....

Today I overheard my wife talking to her dad and she said one of the most depressing things I've heard lately...

Wisconsin hasn't been faring too badly during COVID-19. And yet...

My wife works at a small-to-not-quite-medium sized hospital. I heard her tell her dad today that more patients have died at her hospital during the last 2 months than during all of her previous 12 years there combined.

That blew my mind. What a burden and a heartache this must be on her and all of her co-workers. While so many people are out there protesting or saying it isn't that bad, they are dealing with daily death at their little hospital. Like seriously, FUCK YOU, they must think.


My heart hurts for the loss that is happening all over, and the fact that much of it could possibly have been prevented if not for the selfishness of americans.

May. 1st, 2020

QaF s1e11

After watching Schitts Creek just frankly an embarrassing amount over the past 4 weeks, I've decided to pick back up my QaF rewatch I'd started awhile ago.

Apparently I'd left off in the middle of episode 11 in season one right when ted finds out he is negative and says it out loud in the store with Melanie, to which she replies, "That's ok. Happy people can be really annoying."🤣🤣🤣 I heart you Melanie.
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Apr. 29th, 2020

Quarantine - Schitts Creek

Quarantine resulted in my finally watching Schitts Creek.

And then I watched again.

And again.

And I think I've watched the episode from where Patrick comes into the picture through to the end about 6 or 7 times now.


I haven't been this obsessed with TV show since Queer as Folk. I also haven't had and OTP I've obsessed over since QaF Like I do David and Patrick. I LOVE THEM. FILLED WITH SQUEE.

Naturally this has led to my wishing for the old school form of fandom. Although I'm enjoying the facebook fandom I joined...It just isn't like this. This format always suited me... Yes I'm an old lady missing the old days.

Oct. 27th, 2019

Random QaF Stuff in October 2019

Looking for a QaF podcast? Highly recommend Still Queer as Folk. Most enjoyable! I'm on 112 currently. :)

Also, just watched Ms. Mojo's Top 10 LGBTQ+ couples. Guess who was #7????? See Icon if you couldn't guess.

PS they should have been #1

PPS that list didn't include Willow and Tara or Kurt and Blaine, so clearly it was a shit list.

Jun. 14th, 2019

Life is Cruel

Last week I got into an argument about a woman's right to choose with my cousin's (let's call her Ann) daughter (let's call her Irene.)

A cousin of Ann's (let's call him Ben) had posted a pro-right to choose post on facebook. Irene argued against this. I joined in and argued for the right to choose. Irene kept saying that the main reason people had abortions was because they were irresponsible and taking the easy way out. I pointed out to Irene that she had lived a very privileged life, that she would never know what it was like to not have money for food or shelter. That any of her kids would never want for anything because she had so much love in her life from her parents and her grandparents, and even me. I admittedly did say, that even though I didn't always like her family that much, which let's be real, was not a secret, we don't see eye to eye on really anything, I still would never let any of them be in danger or homeless because I loved them. I maybe could have chosen a better tactic, but the point was still, you have so many people to support you, you can't judge people who are so much less fortunate for their decisions and dismiss them all as irresponsible, selfish, lazy, etc.

At this point Irene started personally attacking me. Telling me how much they all disliked me and how hateful and awful I was.

I told her that before judging others, she should probably judge herself for her own hateful words.

End of conversation.

Then Ann started posting things like you can't be an ugly person and expect to live a beautiful life, etc.

Then Irene posted that she only had respect for certain kinds of gay people and no respect for others who wore rainbows all the time or had them on their profile pictures, or shoved their gayness in your face.

Up until now, I'd ignored their little baiting posts that were clearly aimed at me.

But I couldn't ignore this one. Because other young people who are gay, and vulnerable could see that post, and that could be the thing that sets them over the edge. 1 in 5 LGBTQ your attempting suicide is not ok. And posting things that could make them feel bad about themselves is not ok. And that is basically what I said. Not on her post, but on my own facebook page.

And then she started messaging me. The most hateful horrible things you can imagine. And her brother tagged me on his mom's facebook page saying her post was about me. So I screen shot her nasty comments, shared them, and told him perhaps he ought to teach Irene that you can't be ugly and expect to live a beautiful life.

He called me a depraved cretin.

And then Ann, and her husband and Irene started just flat out making up lies about things I'd said to her, and posting them on facebook with my name. And then they started attacking my mother too. And my whole family.

And the whole time, I'd never said anything other than what I just mentioned here. I never attacked her personally, I never said anything hateful.

Now. It would be easier if I could just write these people out of my life. But life is not so simple. My parents and my siblings and i have been building a cabin for the last 4 years on property attached to theirs. we share lake access and property with Ann's mother and father.

So what do we do now?

Everyone on my side of the family is heartbroken and angry and confused. We don't understand what any of us ever did to inspire this hate. And most of us never want to go back up north there again. But what about my parent's dream of this cabin in the woods for all of us? This cabin we built with our own hands?

Do we just walk away?

I don't know. I have so much sorrow right now I don't even know how to deal with it. I have sorrow for myself. For my mom, my sisters, my nieces, my dad. I didn't know that arguing about a woman's right to choose would land us all here. I feel sadness, and anger, and guilt and it is all just too much.

And it is all because I dared to tell the princess she was privileged. I knew they weren't "my kind of people" but I never knew they would be so cruel.

By the way Ben, who is their cousin, not mine, is the only person who really read everything that transpired (except Irene's private hateful messages to me). And he has written them out his life as well because of this. He was their cousin, not mine. Perhaps that is what I should hold on to. That there are people who owe you nothing, who will still stand by you when others are cruel. But right now, I just feel kind of broken and betrayed and guilty.

Dec. 29th, 2018


If you are bored. I suggest a QaF rewatch. I don't know how much I'll be able to get though. But i've already posted commentary on 101-109 over at [info]qaf_marathons That will probably be it for me for the weekend, but I might get in a bit more this week, will depend on my schedule, as I'm headed to Vancouver on Thursday for Unity Days, a The 100 convention.


And yes, I do know not a single person is likely to read this...but just in case.

Also, Tweak says, "Are you coming or going"

Nov. 13th, 2018

They are still in my head

Apparently I was last here in September, which actually isn't that long ago. Feels longer I guess. Anyways, this was in my head tonight...

He sits on an old, beat-up, paint-splattered stool in the dark. He's smoking, one foot perched on a rung of the stool, the other one absently playing with the leg of a table he is next to. Comfortable in his own skin, and nothing else, but that doesn't mean he didn't wish he had a pair of jeans or sweats to slip on. He looks at the suit crumpled on the floor and regrets his spontaneity.

The room has just enough light coming in from the city outside the glass-block windows of the old, crumbling building to watch him as he sleeps. His blond hair and pale skin. The curve of his back. His bare leg sticking out from under the soft sheet as he sleeps. This isn't Justin's apartment, but it is where he lives. And at least here it is quiet, and it is just them.

In the morning he will get on a plane, or get a hotel room. He hasn't quite decided. He didn't even know he was coming here tonight when he left for work this morning. But the morning was a disaster, and his lunch meeting was mind-numbing. Finally, after he spent 45 minutes looking at available flights, he bought one. He grabbed his coat, told his assistant he was leaving and headed to the airport.

He arrived, without calling or texting, and headed to the place he knew he would find him. And he did. And they fucked. And they grabbed something to eat at the greasy diner down the street. And they came back here, and fucked again.

Now it is 2AM. Justin is sleeping but Brian is not. He is thinking about rules.

The rules that are not spoken, or written, but are somehow understood. But he is less and less sure they make any kind of sense. Why is he allowed to keep Justin on his medical insurance but not help with his rent? Why can he take him out for steak but not leave him a hundred bucks to get some groceries? Why is Justin sleeping on ridiculously expensive sheets on a mattress on the floor? And why is Brian, who has never followed the rules, suddenly following ones he doesn't even really understand?

That last part is a lie of course. He does understand. Sort of. But he still thinks they are very stupid rules.

Aug. 20th, 2018

Menopause? Post-menopause? I don't know.

It is nice to still have this place when you want to put something out there into the universe but you don't think you want too many eyes to actually see it.


Ok. I'll try to end the pity party now.

It has been almost 3 years since I had my radical hysterectomy because of endometrial cancer. And the instant onset of full menopause.

The first 2 years honestly weren't that bad. But holy fucking hell the last few months, and particularly the last couple weeks have been actual hell.

In that I'm constantly on fire. Not so much heat flashes. Nothing flashy about them. More like normal temp flashes and constant fire in my chest and head and back.

And near constant headaches for about the last month.

And a little depression. Yep, hard to find the cheer or the get up and go when your body hates you so much. Sometimes I just sit here on fire and gently cry. Gently because my head hurts too much to full on weep.

So yah. That is me these days.

And it is kind of bullshit.

Feb. 21st, 2018

I drabbled!

I wrote fic!!!! Drabbles!!! What?? But don't get too excited. It is depressing. Only because the state of united states is fucking depressing. Given my mood of late, and my sudden newfound obsession with reading fic again, this was bound to happen.

What Happens Next

When the Sandy Hook school shooting happens Gus is 12, JR is 8. Melanie and Lindsay kiss their kids and hug them a little tighter. They don't say it out loud, but over the years they've often been glad they moved to Canada. This is one of those times.

In 2015 when marriage in the US is finally legal, they think about moving back. They love life in Canada. Gus is 15, moving at that age is tough. But they also love their Pittsburg family, and miss them dearly. They decide to wait a bit and see what happens next.


What happens next changes everything and nothing.

49 people die in a gay nightclub. Trump becomes President. And 17 high schoolers and their teachers are murdered by one kid with a gun.

Gus is a senior in high school. JR will be there next year. Melanie and Lindsay kiss their kids and hug them a little too tight. And they thank god every day that they live somewhere where they can send their kids to the movies, or the mall, or even just to school and be reasonably assured they will come back home at the end of the day.

Feb. 18th, 2018

The Best Laid Plans - Apparently I never posted this one to my journal.

Title: The Best Laid Plans
Gift Request (2011 exchange): Gen/Slice of life or PWP theme: alternative holiday celebration or decorations. I think this actually fills both requests to some degree! Thank you Orlith for saving my butt with a beta!

Read more... )

Feb. 16th, 2018

Fics I’ve been reading.

Still so good, will update as I read:

Feb. 11th, 2018

[No Subject]

Also. Naming my user pics by episode was a bad plan for 10 years in the future when I no longer remember things by episode....

The 100

This seems like the perfect place to come speak into the void and bad mouth another fandom.

The 100. OH MY GOD. Those bitches be crazy. I found a Niylah/Clarke fic, and was very excited, because I find them interesting. And then I read the comments on the fic from clexa shippers. Holy shit. Were we like that? I'm pretty sure I never called anyone who wrote brian/michael a fat pig. Good god. And Niylah/Clarke is at least canon.

My wife is a huge The 100 fan and big time clexa shipper. Today, missing fandom, I tried to get into it. I couldn't. I love the The 100. I liked Clarke and Lexa. I do think it was some ignorant bullshit what they did with Lexa. But...Its done yo. Can't we move on at some point? Do we have to mourn her and them for all of eternity. I still want Clarke to find someone new, be happy, find love.

Would I have forgiven QaF if they had killed Justin? I don't know. I think so. I KNOW I still would have wanted good things for Brian ultimately. I would not have wanted him to spend the rest of his life miserable and in mourning.


Feb. 10th, 2018

Things change and stay the same.

Its been over a year. I popped on to find my journal was unreadable because the old customizations were no longer supported. Sadness to say goodbye to how my journal had looked for over a decade.

I don't know how to customize anymore. So I chose a random format. It isn't the same. But then, neither am I.

If anyone I used to know (or still know) reads this, I hope you are well. I hope you are happy. I hope life is good.

I still think of Brian and Justin and QaF. I still occasionally watch an episode. And I still, unbelievably, make up stories about them in my head. It is my go to when I'm very bored or driving in my car or trying to fall asleep. They are still my home base. My fictional place of happiness. My OTP. Even after all this time.

If you are curious about me. I AM GOOD. I have a good life. I have a great wife. I love my job (usually). And we travel a lot. I cannot complain. And these days my name here is not so accurate. The definition doesn't change daily. I am settled. I am somewhat defined. And I am happy with that.

Be well.

Jan. 28th, 2017

Mel and Linds

You know. A lot of fandom gave Melanie and Lindsey a lot of shit for moving to Canada. But it turns out they were the smart ones.

Wish I was Canadian right about now.

Fuck Trump.

Jan. 10th, 2017

Its been soooooo long!

Tonight I was thinking about fandom and queer as folk and a conversation with friends got me thinking abut live journal and strikethrough and moving to IJ and yeah...

10 years ago man.


Where does the time go?

I still love you all. Queer as Folk fandom was one of the highlights of my life. I met lifelong friends there and had so much fun!

Apr. 10th, 2016

In which I mostly read my own fic and then watch a few vids...

I'm such a narcissist. Every time I do come back here over the last few years, if I bother to read any fic, it is almost always my own. HA!

Today my stroll down memory lane includes:

Playing with DollsAction Figures
Worth A Thousand Words
Say Yes
Business Casual
Set The Fire To the Third Bar

And then I fell down a vid hole when I went to see if there was a vid for Set the Fire to third bar. There was, but I didn't love it. But I did find this Glad You Came. Which is really well done, but much too short.

And then I watched this: A Thousand Years. Which I've shared before, but am sharing again because I'm a sucker for this cheesy song.

And now I'm watching the show...309 because that was apparently where I left off last time on netflix. I am pondering watching from the beginning again...

Apr. 8th, 2016

[No Subject]

Its been a long long time. Just dusting off the cobwebs. If anyone is out there reading this, I hope you are doing well. :)