November 2018



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Cut Me Open

Title: Cut Me Open
Author: [info]not_yet_defined
Summary: Season 3 AU  Everything up to 306 happened, after that, things went a little differently
Warnings, if any: J/E implied.
Author's notes: Thank you to [info]tweedygal and [info]sidhe for hand holding and beta help. All mistakes are mine though. Thank you to [info]sra_black for a fucking amazing and beautiful graphic, it inspired many stories in my head, this is just one them. Text used on the graphic is from the song Bleeding Love, as is the title. Written for the Challenge in Two Parts at [info]qaf_challenges.

by [info]sra_black

He heard Justin's sharp intake of breath as he grabbed his wrist, spun him around, and watched fear slide into relief. Eyes wide and lips parted, Brian hesitated for a moment lost in Justin. He closed his eyes and forced away the almost overpowering desire to kiss him. Instead, he reached for a poster from Justin's bag and slammed it against the fresh glue. Running his hands down sleek, cool surface, smoothing away the wrinkles and giving himself a moment to just breathe.

Justin wordlessly handed him his bag and went back to streaking the brick walls with glue as Brian smoothed poster after poster against the rough surface.

It was after three am by the time they finished.


"Thank you, Brian."


Brian shrugged, uncomfortably casting his eyes any direction other than the sincere blue eyes guilelessly fixed on his face. He focused on nothing in particular somewhere in the distance. He bit the corner of his lip and berated himself silently for just about every decision he'd made since he'd haplessly picked up a little blond twink under a streetlight one night.

"C'mon, I'll drive you home," he said and headed towards the 'vette without a backwards glance.

They drove to Justin's in silence. Brian pulled to a stop in front of the building.


"And what does Ian think of your new gig as the Mad Avenger?"


Justin shrugged. "He's been gone touring for the last 3 weeks."


"He's gone a lot."


Justin opened the door, a careless "yeah" thrown over his shoulder as he slid out of the car. Feet on solid ground, he gripped the top of the car and bent over, peering inside. "Goodnight, Brian."

"Later."  Justin grinned at him, in a way Brian had never been able to resist, and he felt the corners of his mouth move upwards in response completely against his will.


3 Days Earlier

Brian leaned in close, examining the work.

"It's about fucking time someone spoke out," Debbie proclaimed.


Brian briefly ran his fingertips over the glossy surface. "Besides you?" he murmured, his snarky reply strangely devoid of, well, its snark. He backed a step away from the poster and noticed Justin walking towards them. Brian couldn't remember the kid ever looking that lethargic on his account. It vaguely pissed him off.



"Christ, Sunshine. You look like you been up all night."


"I was working on a project."


Brian's eyebrows shot up.


"Not that kind of project," Justin replied to Brian's silent smirk.

Justin turned to look at the posters as he and the others discussed them. Brian watched him, watched the half-smile that graced his lips when Debbie said, "Well, this ought to agitate Stockwell's bowels when he sees this," and the others laughed.

You fucking little shit, Brian thought. 

As Justin, Debbie and Lindsay headed off towards the diner, and Ted and Emmett headed who the fuck cares where, Brian raked his eyes over the bold colors one last time, ignoring the pride that pounded briefly in his chest, drowning it out with anger.


Brian left his trick recovering against the alley wall, just as the gay avenger himself turned down the alley. He must have spotted Brian because he abruptly turned back the direction from whence he'd come. Brian quickly caught up to him.

"Hey, Brian."

"Awfully late to be out, hanging about in dark alleys, isn't it, Sunshine? Or is it Superboy?"

"So, you found out my secret identity," Justin smiled at him.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

The smile faltered and Justin's face hardened. "Being the best homosexual I can be. Just like you taught me."

"Well, you made your point once, now it's time to fucking stop."

"Are you kidding me? What I do is none of your fucking business, Brian. And why should I stop? Stockwell is a homophobe. He is a threat to everything and everyone we know. Just because you don't think so, doesn't mean..."

"You don't know what I think," Brian yelled at him, "I don't give a shit about Stockwell. But you're not just fucking with him. Your fucking with me. It is my business."

"I'm doing something I believe in, Brian. I'm sorry if it fucks with your plan to get the hell out of here. But I'm not going to stop. Part of what you taught me is not giving a shit what anyone tells me. Including you. Now leave me the fuck alone."

Justin walked off, leaving Brian staring after him. He rolled his lips into his mouth, and watched Justin stride away until he turned out of sight.


"The posters aren't enough." 

"Don't sell yourself short, Sunshine, even if they are crude and heavy handed."  He snatched the joint from Justin's finger tips and inhaled deeply. 

"Oh, I know, they're genius." Cocky little shit, Brian thought, even though he agreed, they were fucking brilliant. He felt his cock stir. Traitor, he scolded his dick, but his dick didn't care - Justin's self-confidence had always been fucking hot.

"But posters alone aren't enough. You already have him laughing them off..."  

Brian slouched on the couch, trying to pay attention to what Justin was saying, but he was high, and every time he told himself to focus he found himself staring at Justin's lips. Those full, soft, fucking beautiful lips. 

"In another day or two the media won't even notice them anymore. We need to really expose him. Put him on the spot. Get him back on the defensive." 

Brian watched as Justin ran his fingers through his own hair. As the strands slid between them, Brian wondered how it felt. It was so much longer than it had been the last time he'd touched it. Christ, this was a fucking bad idea. He carefully stubbed out the joint. It was quiet, and Justin was staring up at him from his sprawled position on the floor, an eyebrow quirked at him. "Huh?" 

Did I say that out loud?  Time to deflect. 

"The GLC speech." 


"We ambush him at the GLC speech. We attack him on the police record in and around Liberty Avenue and with the Gay Community. Expose the homophobia in the Police Department. Expose him. He's the boss after all." 

Justin frowned a bit. 

"What's the problem? It's the perfect opportunity." 

"No. You are right. It would be perfect." 

"Then what's the problem? Afraid your boyfriend wouldn't like it? A bit to public? Wouldn't want everyone to know that kid he is always hanging around is a big, militant queer?" 

Justin shot him a disgusted look. "No."  But something in his eyes made Brian suspect he wasn't entirely off. 

"Because it doesn't have to be you. There are plenty of people willing to help nail his ass to the wall. And not in a postive, life affirming way." 

The look faded. "Of course I'll do it...what happened to the joint?" 

Brian laughed, "I put it out 5 miles back, Sunshine." 

He pushed up off the floor and stood. He stretched his arms above his head as he yawned, arching his back and exposing a sliver of pale smooth skin at his waist. Brian had never wanted to lick anything so badly in his life. 



Justin laughed, grinning at him. He's trying to fucking kill me

"You are fucking high, or sleep deprived, or drunk, knowing you, all three. I said, it's  late, I'm going to head home." 

Thank. Fucking. Christ.  Brian nodded. Justin pulled on his coat, grabbed his stuff, and walked to the door. 

"Need a lift?" Brian asked without turning around. 

"No. Thanks." He paused. Brian raised his eyebrow, even though no one could see it. "I'll catch a cab." 

Brian nodded again. 

"Goodnight, Brian." 


"I'm sorry about your job." 

"Save your sympathies for the pathetic and the hopelessly unattractive. I need a favor." 

Justin's eyebrow shot up. "We don't have that kind of relationship anymore Brian, but I'm sure you can find someone to accommodate you. You always do." 

"We were never in a relationship; and if I was looking for that kind of favor, I'd ask Tall, Dark and Hung over there by the bar." 

Justin rolled his eyes.

"What do I get out of it?" 

"The joy of knowing you helped make the world a better place," he assessed Justin's ensemble, "and a bit more sex appeal." 

Brian told him about his failed encounter with the guy Hunter pointed out to him. "I don't seem to be his type." 

"You mean you're too old," Justin was grinning. 

"Well, in that I don't look like I'm 12. Yes, I am." 

"I don't look like I'm 12 either, Brian." 

"Fine, 16. Whatever. Point is, You'll do. I don't have all night, what's your answer? Need to check your schedule with your boyfriend first? Make sure you don't have plans for a romantic dinner for two?" 

"I don't do boyfriends." 

"Since when?" 

"Since he told me he didn't particularly object to Stockwell closing down back rooms and baths. Since his career became more important than the fact that I almost died coming out of the closet. Since he failed to understand my desire, my need to fight against the homophobic fascists of the world. Since a million little things, all of which I'm sure you don't really give a fuck about." 

He was right. Brian didn't really care why. He didn't want to care about any of it at all. But for the first time in months he felt calm. He rolled his lips into his mouth, biting them as he studied the patterns on the bar. In seconds he got a grip and with a practiced look of indifference turned back towards Justin, "You're right, I really don't give a fuck about it. But if it means you are free to help me rid the world of one more asshole, then let's get on with it, shall we?" 

He stood up. "So are you coming or staying." 

A small smile lit across Justin's features. He stood and headed towards the door. Brian followed behind him, his lips twitching as he fought not to smile, and tried to convince himself that the overwhelming relief he was feeling was only a result of getting Justin to help him with his plan, and most certainly had nothing to do with Justin's little announcement.


"He's here."

Justin's eyes darted to Brian's face then to the man making his way into the bar.

As he slid off his stool Brian heard Justin take a deep breath. He paused, searching Justin's face. For what? Fear? The kid was fucking fearless, Brian thought. The small flirty smile was already in place and Brian continued deeper into the bar.

Brian nursed his beer watching Justin out of the corner of his eye. He observed Justin at work, the slight up turn of his lips, the almost shy way he'd glance down when his smile grew, only to turn his eyes and stare back into his victim's as his smile continued to widen and he blinked slowly. That blink was lethal: innocence and sex in a heady shade of blue. Even from a distance it made Brian hard.

What. The. Fuck. Was I thinking?

Justin offered him a smoke but he didn't take it.


Brian saw Justin glance at the trick's recently emptied beer glass but the fucking most efficient goddamn bartender on the planet snatched it up seconds after it hit the bar.

Brian rubbed his hand over his face. Brian moved to the other side of the bar and caught the eye of the bartender. He leaned into him, smiling, "The next time that guy over there with the blond twink sets down an empty glass, I'll give you two hundred bucks for it."

Brian looked back towards Justin and the trick.

Fucking, stupid little twat.

The bartender noticed they'd gone and swiftly retrieved the glass, setting it down in front of Brian with a smug grin. Brian slammed two hundred dollar bills down on the bar and snatched the glass. As he bolted towards the exit, he could feel the panic rising in his chest.

No fucking way is Justin stupid enough to go off with this guy, right? Brian thought frantically. He stepped out on the street looking around frenetically, but there was no sight of the pair.

"Fuck!" he yelled, running a hand through his hair, trying to think where they might have gone. He took a deep breath. Justin really wasn't this stupid. He tried to calm down, it wasn't really working, and he turned back towards the bar. On his way in he nearly collided with Justin who was hastily pushing through the doorway.

"Where the fuck were you?" Brian demanded, pulling Justin against his chest and hugging him tightly. For a brief moment Brian closed his eyes, breathing Justin in. Jesus he smells good.

Justin pushed him away but grabbed his arm, pulling him in the direction of the 'vette. "Can we discuss this in the car, please? Drama Queen."

They rode in silence for a few minutes. Brian waited. It wasn't like Justin could be silent for long and he seriously needed his heart rate to go back to normal.

"He didn't smoke. We had the fucking most efficient bartender i've ever met..." Justin grinned, "So, I told him I'd blow him in the bathroom for fifty bucks."

"Please tell me you did not actually fucking suck his cock."

Justin rolled his eyes and reached into the leather coat, pulling out a plastic bag and shook it at Brian. Brian squinted, he didn't see shit. "What the fuck is that?"

"Pubic hair."

"You fucking blew him?" Brian exclaimed, looking completely disgusted.

"Eww. No! After he took his dick out, I yanked on his pubes, told him I didn't suck cock that small, and got the fuck out of there."

"You always were a size queen," Brian murmured nonchalantly, but he was grinning as he came to a stop outside the loft. Justin followed him into the building and up to the loft. As he slid the door shut, Brian poured them both a glass of Beam. "You scared the shit out me."

"I'm not an idiot, Brian."

"I know, but...Christ, Justin."

Brian downed the drink and poured another. "So, fifty bucks for a blow job, huh?" he leered at Justin.

"It'll cost you a hundred."

Brian lifted an eyebrow.

"I came back to your place."

Brian nodded, "Still, quite a bargain."

"I'm giving you a discount. Considering you taught me how to give one in the first place, it seems fair."

They stood on opposite sides of the island, just staring at each other. Justin looked away first, "I should go."

"Or you could stay."

Justin looked back up at Brian, "Just like that?"

"Well, if you'd prefer, we could be more dramatic about it. Screaming. Tears. You stalking me for a few weeks, while I treat you like shit and send you mixed signals, until you wear me down. Either way, it will end the same. My dick. Your ass. I'd rather skip the bullshit and get to the fucking."

Justin walked steadily around the island, until he was in front of Brian. "I like your way," he whispered, a grin slowly spreading across his face. His hand snaked around Brian's neck, cupping the back of his head and pulling him down. He could feel Brian's answering smile against his lips.


Jun. 4th, 2008 05:41 am (UTC)
this is just one them
you mean there is more to come????????????????
*is soooo excited*

BTW.let me squeeee all over the place once again about this one!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*hearts AU fic of perfection*
Jun. 4th, 2008 03:31 pm (UTC)
yes, hopefully there will be a second fic from, based on this same graphic for the amnesty challenge.

and thank you so much for you squeeage. it really means a lot to me when people appreciate a fic i'm a bit proud of.
Jun. 4th, 2008 06:36 am (UTC)
I loved this at [info]qaf_challenges and I think, if possible, it may be even better upon rereading is quite possibly a perfect AU....Bravo.
Jun. 4th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC)
if it is better, it's because i fixed 7 typos in this version. hehe.

thank you :D
Aug. 5th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
Justin's self confidence had always been fucking hot.
oh Brian, it certainly is...
I think I enjoyed this more than the first time...
Aug. 5th, 2008 03:51 pm (UTC)
Ahh, thanks for letting me know you enjoyed this again :D
Oct. 14th, 2008 11:33 pm (UTC)
Yay!!! Outlander read it with me and I'm magically cured!!!!!

I love the part about the stomach and well, since it's all in the email, you know the rest.


Thank you. For many, many things.
Oct. 23rd, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
Forgive me for thanking you for this 2 years later. hee.
Aug. 9th, 2010 12:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah I squeeeed to.

Jesus you killed me, I fucking love Brian Kinney.

The last 2 chapters were genius, I LMAO,.

Thanks for this, Im sooooooooooo glad that Justin left Ian & not because he cheated on him,,loved it Jx
Oct. 23rd, 2010 03:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you!!! :D
Oct. 26th, 2010 05:10 pm (UTC)
"While I treat you like shit and send you mixed signals until you wear me down"...the crux of the matter, right there. This was good!
Feb. 10th, 2018 05:59 pm (UTC)
thank you...8 years later. Ha!
Nov. 14th, 2015 09:38 pm (UTC)
Love it :)
Feb. 10th, 2018 05:59 pm (UTC)
thank you. apparently even if it is 3 years later I still feel the need to be polite. :)