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Jun. 25th, 2015


Can't stop watching...

So far I've watched 308, 310, 311, 402, 511, 512 and 513. In no particular order. What next?

Comments so far after watching those episodes...

Brian and Justin are still ridiculously pretteh.

I have fits of laughter every time Brian is overly dramatic, which is far more often than I had remembered. Like seriously he can be season 1 Justin level dramatic, and it is hilariously adorable.

Melanie really did have the longest pregnancy ever recorded on tv.

Britin is FUCKING HUGE. HUGE. Way bigger than I remembered. And frankly fits Brian's personality just fine by that point in the show. He kept it, right? Just like the rings. Seriously, maybe he bought it for Justin, but then he realized how fabulous it was and even if he didn't need it anymore, why not just keep it anyway, right? Like I don't want that house, I think I love tiny houses, but I'm pretty sure if I already owned that house, I'd be like, this thing is fucking amazing and I could probably get a lot more for it if I fixed it up right? So I might as well...and then boom, I'm living there, cause it is BEAUTIFUL.

Sorry, that was all very random. Clearly I just finished watching 511.

Jun. 24th, 2015


Thoughts while rewatching 513 this evening:

1. I remember when the "Its only time" speech made me so sad. Now it makes me laugh so hard. Omg he is such a drama queen.

2. My only real complaint about the last episode is that aesthetically, I don't love the sex scene.

3. I wouldn't change the ending. Brian in the strongest space he's ever been mentally, is kind of perfect. He really can't dance, but that doesn't stop the last scene from being absolutely gorgeous.

Also, and I've had this thought many times, not just tonight: I'm certain that a few months after Melanie and Lindsay moved to Toronto and marriage became legal in Massachusetts, they had second thoughts about moving to Toronto. I'm certain that since they were already in Toronto, they decided to give it their all. I'm certain that roughly a year later, after realizing they could be much closer to everyone in western Massachusetts, and Melanie could practice law, and that their marriage would still be recognized, they moved to Massachusetts. And they built a beautiful life there.

A Thousand Years Poll

I know, I know! World's CHEESIEST song. But I love it. And apparently so do vidders...

Poll #7599 A Thousand Years
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Pick your favorite:

View Answers

A Thousand Years
1 (50.0%)

A Thousand Years
0 (0.0%)

A Thousand Years
1 (50.0%)

A Thousand Years
0 (0.0%)

1 (50.0%)

A Thousand Years
1 (50.0%)

Ny, I didn't even recognize everyone in that last one!
1 (50.0%)

Dear god, thank you for not including the brian/michael A Thousand Years video in this poll.
2 (100.0%)

PS I think I must have lost a lot of icons. I don't seem to have nearly as many as I remember having. Sadness.

Jun. 23rd, 2015

Never enough

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis or something.

I seriously should be in bed. This is not 8 years ago and I do not have the stamina to stay up all night playing on IJ and then go to work like an adult in the morning anymore.

On a side note. I don't have nearly enough icons. How did I ever think I had enough??

PS Brian really was a giant schmoop.

Jun. 20th, 2015

Au revoir

Before I leave and probably don't return for another year until tomorrow....Bed of Roses I seriously have no fucking recollection of having written that. Or why I wrote it. Which just makes me feel really old. Oy.

And also, just read this The Good Chinese Daughter by Xie, which I had never read before I don't think. So good!

I always meant to move my stuff over to AO3, but it always just seemed like too big of a task...

Memory Lane

I've been taking a trip down memory lane today. Which took me back to what is probably my favorite story I ever wrote for QaF, Cut Me Open.

Which was inspired by what was definitely my favorite fandom challenge, Challenge in Two Parts.

I'm biased though, I produced two stories and 1 graphic for that challenge, and they are some of my favorite fan works I've done.

[No Subject]

Don't know why, came back for a visit.

Actually B&J have been on the brain for the last weekish. They are still a go to happy place for me. My journal formatting has gone all wonky...and I don't remember how to fix it anymore. Sad.

So what fictional B&J world has my mind been playing in lately? One where Justin stayed with Ethan for much longer. Sad right!?! But don't worry too much, Brian is in his early 40s now, and he and Justin finally find their way back to each other again.

Hope anyone who might see this is well.

So much love and fond memories of all of this...

Nov. 16th, 2014

[No Subject]

The end of 3.08 is still the most squee-worthy thing ever.

Watching QaF while doing housework....

Sep. 7th, 2014

[No Subject]

Helloooo! *listens for echo*

Goodness it has been a long time since I've been here. Just checking in to see if the world kept spinning. Seems it has. Good to know. May all the old friends I had on here who see this be doing well!


PS. Looking back at some of the comms and seeing that the last posts were in 2012, 2011, 2010. WHAT?? How does time pass so fast???

Feb. 11th, 2014

Thank You

This weekend my wife and I had two conversations that wound up being oddly relevant to my day.

1. We were talking about fanfic. And my niece who has discovered SPN fanfic. And it got me thinking about vamphile, and debating about sending my niece in her direction. On the one hand, she was the first fanfic writer I ever read and her writing was HILARIOUS. On the other - the porn - and maybe I didn't want to know my niece was reading that. lol.

2. We were discussing our wishes if something ever happened to one of us. And my wife said, "I just want it to be a celebration of my life. I think that is part people so often get wrong." That how we should pay our last respects by remembering how awesome a person was, and rejoicing in it. My wife has had a lot of loss in her life, so I guess she knows of what she speaks more than I do.

So how to best appreciate the best parts of Vamphile?

Choosing my favorite fic? How can I? There was so much excellence in so much of it. She was hands down my favorite author in the fandom. I literally stalked her journal when I first found fandom. Gobbled up everything she wrote. For me she was ocassionally a little OOC, and could definitely be cracky. But that is why I loved it, and I loved the Brian and Justin I got to see through eyes. Yeah, her porn was hot, but her humor was hotter. And the best compliments I ever got on my own writing was when she found what I wrote funny. It would make my week.

She welcomed me to fandom. She encouraged my participation. She never made me feel like an idiot. She welcomed my stalking. She appreciated what I had to offer. And we spent so many hours talking about the weirdest shit that often didn't even have anything to do qaf. And when I was low. And at one point I was very, very low. She was one of the people who made sure I kept going. She even managed to get me to talk to her on the phone. Which any of your who now know me offline, know is a gigantic feat.

For all my life, when I think of the crazy awesome time I spent in QaF fandom, she will be there occupying a giant corner of it.

I know a lot of you knew her much, much better. And for much longer, than I. And I am sorry for your loss.

I hope she has found peace.

And I hope that after spending today feeling sad, and crying more than a little, that tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, if I think of her, it will be thinking of all the ways she made me laugh and made my life better.

Feb. 3rd, 2014

[No Subject]

QaF is on Netlflix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!with weird music

Dec. 2nd, 2013

Icon a day - day 5

I was having trouble picking a pic, so I just closed my eyes and swiped my screen and this is what I landed on. Not a bad choice. I love the way this icon is cropped.

In unrelated news, I'm watching "chasing mavericks" at this moment. I have a bizarre obsession with surfing movies. My favorite is probably endless summer, I've seen it at least 10 times. This one I had not seen before. I will edit this later to tell you how it was. I'm sure you'll be super excited to find out.

Update: chasing mavericks was really good. And now that I've had a good cry, I'm off to bed.

Nov. 30th, 2013

[No Subject]

Why can't qaf be on netflix? That would make my life so much more awesome.

Also, I think this is the first year with no gusmas Makes me quite sad. Understandable, but still sad. I thought there was no gift exchange, but apparently there is. So yay!

Icon a day - day 4, Brandi Carlile

So since this post is following on the heels of "yesterdays" post, I naturally went an looked at the rec lists first. And I went straight to the same video I personally rec'd multiple times.

It is one of my ALL TIME favorite Brian/Justin vids. It wound up being my introduction to the woman who has become my all time favorite singer. Brandi Carlie. I'm sorry this is the only icon i have her.

There is just something magical about this video for me. The lyrics fit brian and justin so well. The scenes selected fit the music so well. The people in the video are the couple I've probably loved more than any other on screen. And the song and the singer are just amazing.

Since discovering Brandi Carlile from fandom 5 years ago, I've seen her in concert 5 times. Each time in a different venue, each time a totally different kind of show. She is AMAZING live and so is the rest of her band. One of those rare people who is impossibly better live. I can't recommend her enough. She is the only person I've ever gone on a road trip just to see. And what is even better, is C has become a giant fan as well. Miraculous because in the world of music, C and I have very few over-lapping interests.

Anyway. Here is a link to the vid The Story - Qafmaniac

And here is a link to one of my current brandi faves Keep your heart young

And a totally different type of current favorite That wasn't me This song has a tendency to make me weep when I hear it.

One more current favorite Raise Hell

And doing an AMAZING version of Hallelujah I've heard her do this one 2 times live. Chills both times.

Finally, one of my favorite performances, Cannonball acoustic at the pabst No mikes, nothing. Just a guitar and voices. I was seated in the balcony, way back at this show, and you could hear every note so clearly and purely. It was beautiful.

Rec-a-thons Past, Icon a day - day 3

I MISSED YESTERDAY!! Sorry. It was a holiday. I will post yesterday's now.

Who doesn't love pilgrim brian smoking a cigarette and native american justin? url_grl, no idea what she goes by now, for sure was the queen of adorable doodles. And this is one of them.

Speaking of Thanksgiving. For a few years I had a thanksgiving tradition of hosting a rec-a-thon. It was one of my favorite fandom activities. Mostly because I'm lazy, and I loved it when people would post links of wonderful things on their journals so all i had to do to be entertained was lazily click my mouse every now and again.

Now that everyone is gone, I guess I have to do a bit more work to entertain myself.

If anyone wants to be lazy, here are the links to rec-a-thons past.

Rec-a-thon 2008 master list
Rec-a-thon 2010 master list
In 2011 no master list happened, but you can find most of the recs in the comments of this post!


Nov. 27th, 2013

[No Subject]

My layout now has some glitches. And I didn't make it, so I don't know how to fix it. :( Maybe it is time to ditch it.

I wish I still knew how to make graphics, so I could make a new header that better fit my present life. I'd be sad to say goodbye to the beautiful layout that i've had for so long, but perhaps it is time.

I'll have to see if I have some time in the next week to see if i can still figure out how to make something.

Icon a day - day 2

So yesterday when I came back on here for the first time in eons, one of the first things I did was to hop around the various communities to make sure everything looked ok from the big move.

When I stopped by [info]qaf_crackfic I looked at the date of the last entry and was like, "What what??" That community hasn't been used since march, 2010. That is almost 4 years. How DOES TIME PASS BY SO QUICKLY.

Seriously. The serial killer mermaid fic discussion was in 2007. I couldn't even find the first one. But here is a link to the second to refresh your memory Mer!Discussion take 2

And if for some reason you feel an insane impulse to read the original fic, you can find it here Although it is a repost by some kind soul, because the original original has gone missing.

Anyway. The assorted Mermaid serial killer!Brian discussions, and pictures, and icons made from pictures were some of the most fun I've ever had in fandom. And This icon was always one of my faves. That adorable little starfish face, I'm not sure if it is a look of shock at the horror or a jaw-drop at the beauty of mer!justin and mer!brian. :D

Another discussion

Nov. 26th, 2013

Brian and Justin Stories in My Head

My latest Brian and Justin story in my head has been zombie/end of the world type stories.

Where for some crackish reason B, J, and the rest of the gang are all in Britin facing the end of the world/zombies together.

I have numerous elaborate scenarios for how this works.

I have no appropriate icons for this post though. Actually, maybe this one. It is Britin. And there is snow. But it no longer moves. :( sad. I wonder if all my animated icons have stopped moving. Never mind. It is still moving. YAY!

Also, YAY that I still remember how to do this after so many years!

An Icon a day?

Lord know I won't stick to it, but here is my plan. I am going to try and come here every day, until the end of the year, and pic one of my userpics. And post something related to it. Why I love it, what it reminds me of, whatever.

Why? because i'm feeling sad and nostalgic for this place. I went to check up on things after the big move, and while going to some of my communities and seeing nothing in them for 4 years, it made me feel old. And I always wish I post more here. And I still LOVE my little pics. So what better thing to actually get me here and posting than my love of userpics?

So we will start with this one. It will be my default for the holiday season actually. Why? Because even though this pic is from season 4, it makes me think of a mature future brian and justin. And almost always, when I think of them these days, I am thinking of them in the future. Or I guess the present, which is what? 8 years removed from QaF? And it is festive. And I like the look of it. So I'm going with it.

Much love to all of you who still wander these halls, and to those who used to. I miss you all!

Sep. 10th, 2013

[No Subject]

Feeling down. Still the only place I can come to say that....