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27th-Apr-2008 11:28 am - Coming out as a fangirl
So how do you tell one of your best friends...who you lived with for 2 years...who thinks she knows everything about you...that you are a hopelessly obsessed fangirl?

cause, i've managed to just not mention anything to do with fandom for the past 15 months when we've talked on the phone or in email. But now i'm going to be spending 5 days with her...and um...it's going to come out.

she is going to mock me so bad. either that or be so weirded out by it that she doesn't even know how to react and thinks i'm insane.

ugh.

*whispers* it's possible that the only people in my rl who know about my secret obsession are my immediate family. yeah, i've somehow managed to avoid the topic with all of my rl friends.

ETA: so i sent an email hinting about this to her. :X i should also mention that she has no knowledge of my being involved in bdsm either...or writing porn...or the fact that i have an online journal....oh god. i should have just shut up.
25th-Feb-2008 10:52 pm - 107 love and Ny comes out for the 1439120382 time.
Ok, first things first, i swore i would not stay up past 11 on marathon nights. So I won't...But I will return for more squeeage later this week Because the HOTNESS of episode 107 should not be denied or neglected!!!

But on to other things.

Remember when i said i had that weird moment at work, where someone asked me if i had a boyfriend and i just said no?? and then i was all distraught because i felt like i'd unintentially closeted myself in that moment because i should have said, no, and i don't have a girlfriend either, but i didn't and so it felt like this whole big thing??? well if you don't remember, that was the recap, lol.

So anyway...today i was telling the same co-worker about a dream where i bummed a cigarette off this guy in my front yard, and i lived on ship, but that is besides the point. Then she made some comment, i don't even remember what about having a man in my dream. And i was all! Woot! Time for redemption!!! So I said, "No, if that was the case, it would have been a WOMAN, because I am a lesbian."

to which she replied, "Oh. I didn't know you were a lesbian."

and i thought...WTF??? You didn't know i wasn't one either, because you never stopped to think you dumbass.

*sigh*

i hate that i have to come out for the rest of my life because everyone is always going to assume i'm straight.

i'm seriously considering that forehead tattoo, yo.

now scoot! go leave some 107 love at [info]qaf_marathons
19th-Jan-2008 01:13 pm - Coming Out...again and again and again.
A conversation with [info]firehead30 just made me remember this from yesterday.

Yesterday came the inevitable I've been at my new job over 2 months question from a co-worker:

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

I replied, "No."

If I had had a girlfriend at the time, I would have said, "no, I have a girlfriend." because I'm not closeted by any means. But I don't. So I just said, "No." Because no matter how many times I get asked that question, it always throws me.

Then the person goes on thinking I'm straight. BECAUSE EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS I'M FUCKING STRAIGHT. Argh.

And so now it will be this thing...I had an opportunity to say, "No, I don't have a boyfriend and I never will because I don't like boys." But I didn't. So yeah, it will eventually come up again, and she will think I was like hiding something from her. But really, she just didn't ask the right question.

I hate this. I hate that I constantly have to make an effort to be out, or feel like i'm intentionally hiding it. I'm doing neither, i'm just not chatty about my personal stuff with people in RL, unless i'm close to them.

*sigh*

I'm seriously getting a giant rainbow tattooed on my forehead so that I will just never have to be in this position again.

Sorry for the spam.
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