I need to be doing two things.
Today I have done neither. I got up went to work. (ugh...i'm telling you, there will never ever be a shortage of overtime at my job) Got home and parked my butt in front of the tv/computer.
First I read two stories that were rec'd at qaf_retread
and then it's sequel, Stumble and Fall
I cannot with words express how very much I wished I had not read these. Reading them made me feel very uneasy. And wrong. And strangely hurt. And I can't pinpoint why, they were just so very much NOT what I want to read. I don't know why i did it. And then I just wanted to escape all thoughts of it.
So I turned to the teevee...the number one instrument of escapism.
What did I watch? Um. *hangs head in shame*
The Girls Next Door, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, The Hills, and My Super Sweet 16. Yes. Really.
I spent my entire afternoon watching the tv equivalent of trashy tabloid magazines.
And then I turned on freaking Lifetime. And who did I see? Ms. Chanders herself. Well, ok, it wasn't really Daphne, but the actor who brought Daphne to us. Talk about coming fucking full circle with my day.
And now...now IT IS BACK IN MY BRAIN AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT.
ETA: I would like to add that I'm not condemning these fics or saying it's bad!fic or anything of the sort. It's just my own personal fic preferences. And the fact that it was well done is probably one of the reasons why it is traumatizing me so badly.