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18th-Jun-2008 04:40 pm - please come back
my writing muses all seem to have abandoned me. I wanted to write for the Best Friends challenge....I wanted to write for Cuddle Theme Day...but I got nothing. I have a yen for a post-series Brian and Ted drabble, but I can't seem to make myself write one.

This sucks. :(


who cares!

*is overwhelmed by all the cuddle day fabulousness*
11th-Jun-2008 06:44 pm - Just a Fangirl
I have to say, I've never had so much fun writing, as I have had writing drabbles the last 2 days.

Drabbling was something I used to do A LOT before we moved to IJ. I don't know why I stopped when we came here, actually I think I do, suddenly too many other fandom things to do, I suppose.

Do not get me wrong, I enjoy almost all of the things I do for fandom, but some days I wish I could just say fuck it to all the asylums, forget planning things, not give a shit if things are active...and just spend my time writing and reading. (and making graphics for fun)

But I can't because those things are part of what keeps fandom going, communities are where our friends lists grow, where we find new writers, where we find new icons to squee over, and new people to share our passions. And it would be sad if I wrote things and no one was around to read them, or I had nowhere to post them, sad if I squeed over my icons alone.

It was nice though, to spend a few days just reading and writing and being an old-fashioned fangirl.

*licks [info]tweedygal for being my writing pal this week*

and tweeds...i just saw that next week is cynthia...i'm sorry, but Brian might have to go down. :P
16th-May-2008 03:39 pm - interneting at the airport.
my writing process, or lack thereof.

If I have 10 days to write, here is what i do.

Day 1: roll ideas around in my head. and mostly spend time in fantasy land with the bad!fic stories in my head i'd never actually write.
Day 2: see day 1
Day 3: actually think of a real story idea and mentally poke at it 20% of my time, the rest, back to fantasy story land.
Day 4: not think about fic at all.
Day 5: poke some more. maybe write a sentence or 2.
Day 6: attempt to write something. like maybe 200 words. think it's crap, toss it out. go back to fantasy fic land.
Day 7: attempt writing for real, write nothing. FREAK THE FUCK OUT and spend all my time i should be writing online distracting myself.
Day 8: write a tiny tiny bit. FREAK OUT A LOT. write half the story.
Day 9: rewrite the half i already wrote plus another 1/4. send to beta. FREAK OUT.
Day 10: ignore all day until 4 hours before deadline. Spend 1 hour Freaking out. Spend 2.99 hours finishing it for reals. spend last. 0.01 hours submitting at last minute.


hmm...*looks at clock* i'm like right on schedule. AWESOME. :D

So right now i'm pretending I'm Kata and imagining Brian and Justin fucking all over the place. Only, I am having trouble figuring out why the fuck they came to milwaukee. I will have to think on that one and write some bad!fic or something. who could kinnetik score an advertising campaign from that would require brian coming to milwaukee? *thinks* miller? harley? midwest airlines? yeah...that's pretty much all we have here...beer, motorcycles, and the best care in the air.

You know what sucked ass?? I had this super girly pink bejeweled pocket knife keychain thing. it was like a swiss army knife, only with a pop out mirror and a make-up brush instead of a toothbrush. i forgot i had it on my keys *sniffles* they had to take it home, i know they did because one of the security girls was TOTALLY OOHING AND AHHING OVER MY PRETTY SPARKLY PINK POCKET KNIFE throw it out. *is sad* i shall never find another one like it.

ok, i think we are boarding soon. goodbye. :D
14th-May-2008 06:01 pm - Thank You
I just wanted to tell all the writers who responded to my OMG I CAN'T WRITE post, THANK YOU.

It really cheered up to learn about how some of you struggle or are struggling with this challenge specifically.

It didn't help me write the fucking thing yet XD but it totally cheered me up.

*smackles and licks all of you*

ok...time to make another attempt on this fucker...before i'm completely out of time.
12th-Apr-2008 07:48 pm - Words...of the NC-17 variety
I've seen this topic of conversation in a couple of places lately. And now i've just been discussing it with someone else this evening...so i'm rather curious.

when writing/reading f/f fiction....CUNT or PUSSY?

personally...i hate, i mean HATE the word pussy. And I think a big part of the reason why for me is that the vast majority of the people i've heard use this word have been men in my personal experience.

I have no issue whatsoever with the word Cunt. With lovers, sex partners, bdsm playmates, whatever the fuck you want to call them, lol, cunt has always been used rather liberally. and i find it incredibly sexy. For whatever reason, the women i have been with have just prefered this word.

So dear readers of my blog, how do you feel? I'm very curious.
27th-Nov-2007 08:48 pm - here we are now. entertain us.
5 things...(it's been awhile)

1. Don't you wish some days that you could push a button and make people entertain you? I'm depressed, I'm bored. Entertain me dammit! *Thanks god for DVDs and my imagination.*

2. I still have my period. It's been like over 20 days. That's at least 20 days too many.

3. Muses may give me ideas...discipline is what it takes to write them. Remember homework? How many times did you have a homework assignment you didn't give a shit about and you still completed it brilliantly? I did...all the fucking time.

4. *sigh* i guess i have to stop blaming my muses now. :P

5. I've been secretly watching this entire season of dancing with the stars. i excuse myself because it is my niece's favorite show. I think I'm a little in lust love with Mel B. It was probably the whip.
18th-Nov-2007 09:40 pm - stress....
last night, this morning, i was on a writing roll.

then i got my ficlet back from beta, and i'm crippled. what changed? i started to stress out about work...this week, even though it's only three days, is going to be BAD. i have far more work to do than i possibly can, i still don't know exactly what i'm doing with any kind of confidence, and i have a supervisor who is reactive rather than proactive. when i mention having too much to do, she just says, well do your best and if you get behind come find me. fucking hell...i'm going to be behind before i even get there. i'm already behind from friday.

i started thinking about this around 2pm...and i absolutely can't write, no matter how hard i try.

so my beta'd fic will just have to sit pretty for now, until i'm feeling less stressed. and my new bunny...it'll have to wait even longer.

before i had a job, i was too stressed out to write because my funds were running out, and now i have a job and i'm still too stressed out about the job to write regularly. this freaking sucks.

i know i know...shut up Ny. it's still a new job, it'll get better...blah blah blah.

i'm going to bed now.

ETA: when i posted this, tweak said: "Orange is the new blue." *pets tweak and goes off to bed with half a smile*

Oh and btw, cut me some slack for all my whining. I've had my period for 15 fucking days now.

ETA2: Fearless Planet on the discovery channel is one freakin kick ass show...i'm just saying.
17th-Nov-2007 08:00 pm - death!fic thoughts
I don't like death!fic. it upsets me terribly. i've read one on purpose, then forever swore them all off. Since then, i've accidently read a few more, and I HATE IT, and curse the author.

Ironically, for about two months now, a death!ficlet bunny has been stalking me constantly. Today I decided fuck it, and started writing it. It's flowing out like water. I'm enjoying writing this fucking death!fic more then i've enjoyed writing anything in months. it's not sad, it's not weepy, it's not sappy. it's more just well fuck me, we all die eventually.

naturally, now that i have PS, i haven't been graphically inspired at all. just like, now that the challenge is over, i finally feel like writing. i'm so freaking contrary. It's very annoying. My muses are very bad and in need of spanking.

maybe once this death!fic bunny from hell is out of my system, i will be able to get back to something someone might actually want to read...like porn.

ETA: I finished it. I sent it to beta. When it comes back, I will attempt to make it more pretty. And then I will post it. And then I will never ever write death!fic again even though as i write this a plot bunny sequel is forming in my head

ps...go read the challenge fics at [info]qaf_challenges and leave some love for the authors! i've read about 1/2 of them so far, and there are definitely some gems among them :D
1st-Sep-2007 04:08 am - Does Massive Happy Dance
Cause Part 3 of Happily Owned Girl is finished!!! (although it's still totally cliffhanger!porn and there will have to be a part 4)

*kisses my porny girl on girl muses because i thought they had abandoned me, but they did not*

ok...must sleep now. not self-beta'ing at 4am. will post later today. YAY!!!!!

i know none of you probably give a crap, but i've been unable to write this for over two months...two months!! so i'm a little excited right now. *passes out*
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